a Simple Man Soul

Jean-Dominique Bauby & locked-in syndrome

a brief review of the movie

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (Le scaphandre et le papillon)

I recently watched the movie The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (Le scaphandre et le papillon). I didn’t know what to expect, because, I so often disagree with what I hear or read in movie reviews.

The story is by and about Jean-Dominique Bauby. Mr. Bauby suffered a massive stroke in 1995, when he was only 43 years old, which is my current age.  When he awoke in the hospital three weeks later, he was completely paralyzed, with the only exception being his left eye & eyelid.

The story is told from the first person perspective of Bauby.  And therefore, because you are seeing the unfolding of his life from inside of his paralyzed body, you are able to comprehend the utter terror and anguish of being “locked-in” and unable to talk or touch.

I am impressed that Bauby was given the opportunity to communicate via his unparalyzed eye.

These are feelings that I have when I consider the events of Mr. Bauby’s stroke, & his waking up paralyzed:

• I am ashamed of the years that I waste in solitude & laziness.
• I also wonder if I would ask forgiveness of my wife and family, for squandering our time together.
• The time when Bauby told Marie that he wanted to die is a profound mind shift, because he is moved to think of someone else more than himself.
• Could I make the same resolution that Bauby made?  I suspect that I would not.

There are things that I wished Bauby had said, but…, he didn’t and I wonder why not?
If I knew I could never hold my wife again or talk to her, I wonder what I would not say?

I wonder if an apology at that point serves any real point at all.

It is serendipity that today’s poem, on the Writer’s Almanac with Garrison Keillor, has a woeful & useless apology as its theme.

The poem, Time + Distance by Leslie Monsour.

This poem fits my feelings on Mr. Bauby & his relationship with Céline, his wife.